Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
only you would photoshop your dick
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
