did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
