they need to just BURY HIM!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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