Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
