Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
