I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
