i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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