ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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