I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
