The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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