hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
