What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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