NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
