How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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