im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
