im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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