Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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