Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
