people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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