She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
