so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
