That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
