Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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