I'm really into asian looking animals
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
