He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
