your parents love me but you hate me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
