As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
