Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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