i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
