Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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