I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
