we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
