YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
