And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
