But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
