1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
