Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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