nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
