I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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