): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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