yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
