Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize