now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
