Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
ttyl tear gas
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
