hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
