physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
