i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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