We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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