it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
