I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
