I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
